Current mood: 
impressed
impressed p.293 of my copy of 'The Unnamable' by Samuel Beckett says :
"...The tears stream down my cheeks from my unblinking eyes. What makes me weep so? From time to time. There is nothing saddening here. Perhaps is liquefied brain. Perhaps happiness in any case has clean gone from my memory, assuming it was ever there..."
Liquefied brain.. the analogy kept me lamed by my thoughts for 40 minutes.
Emotions aren..t physically touchable, they are ..feelings.., one cannot see or measure them. And yet, a ..sense of touch.. employs the same word used for the effect of an emotion: ..I..m touched.., implying that feelings are in fact touchable, definable, graspable, and undeniably real. Often feelings are so strong they certainly would merit the description ..physical pain.. would they not? With your stomach cramped you head aching your blood throbbing your thoughts spinning, your ears swooshing, your chest tightening from a breaking soul... is all this not physical? When you lose something or someone you love does loss not hurt? And is such severe pain not physical?
It is beyond sadness. Sadness is relief for such pain, in sadness we can weep and those falling tears can be cleansing. And again, physical tears can be seen, touched, tasted.. they are the physical manifestation of sadness, and still the pain does not count as such physical from a wound. Liquefied brain would change that .. it would merit the shift in memory when we cry, would merit the sense of physical loss, the feeling that part of you is seeping out, drifting away, and you cannot contain it. And in such you would have proof of your emotion, proof of the strength of the thing, proof that it affects not only your core, but your mind as the ruler of all things.
Beckett..s image promises a spotless mind should we so chose to relieve ourselves of loss and sadness and memories. Liquefied brain, the stuff we are, running down our cheeks and into time, into that spatial void, existing forever as a piece of us, but no longer within our souls. Relief and measurable loss. If there were such a thing to measure and remove sadness perhaps we would never have to revisit memories. That is hope for the blemished mind.
Or perhaps our brains fill with memories, with happiness and unhappiness, and being physical and therefore finite, brains must be emptied when they become to full, and therefore we cry. This would remove us from the sense of soul and feeling, and become a chemistry experiment in which some input substances are aggressive or irritant, others soothing and warming, others merely acting as buffers for the rest to swim in.. and every so often a valve must be opened to release some of the pressure and products, and make way for new additions, so that the system doesn..t overflow or explode.
Whichever the answer, my brain seems endless in it..s liquidity and perhaps that is the only truth of the space time continuum and therefore our lives and the existence of our souls: it is endless.
"...The tears stream down my cheeks from my unblinking eyes. What makes me weep so? From time to time. There is nothing saddening here. Perhaps is liquefied brain. Perhaps happiness in any case has clean gone from my memory, assuming it was ever there..."
Liquefied brain.. the analogy kept me lamed by my thoughts for 40 minutes.
Emotions aren..t physically touchable, they are ..feelings.., one cannot see or measure them. And yet, a ..sense of touch.. employs the same word used for the effect of an emotion: ..I..m touched.., implying that feelings are in fact touchable, definable, graspable, and undeniably real. Often feelings are so strong they certainly would merit the description ..physical pain.. would they not? With your stomach cramped you head aching your blood throbbing your thoughts spinning, your ears swooshing, your chest tightening from a breaking soul... is all this not physical? When you lose something or someone you love does loss not hurt? And is such severe pain not physical?
It is beyond sadness. Sadness is relief for such pain, in sadness we can weep and those falling tears can be cleansing. And again, physical tears can be seen, touched, tasted.. they are the physical manifestation of sadness, and still the pain does not count as such physical from a wound. Liquefied brain would change that .. it would merit the shift in memory when we cry, would merit the sense of physical loss, the feeling that part of you is seeping out, drifting away, and you cannot contain it. And in such you would have proof of your emotion, proof of the strength of the thing, proof that it affects not only your core, but your mind as the ruler of all things.
Beckett..s image promises a spotless mind should we so chose to relieve ourselves of loss and sadness and memories. Liquefied brain, the stuff we are, running down our cheeks and into time, into that spatial void, existing forever as a piece of us, but no longer within our souls. Relief and measurable loss. If there were such a thing to measure and remove sadness perhaps we would never have to revisit memories. That is hope for the blemished mind.
Or perhaps our brains fill with memories, with happiness and unhappiness, and being physical and therefore finite, brains must be emptied when they become to full, and therefore we cry. This would remove us from the sense of soul and feeling, and become a chemistry experiment in which some input substances are aggressive or irritant, others soothing and warming, others merely acting as buffers for the rest to swim in.. and every so often a valve must be opened to release some of the pressure and products, and make way for new additions, so that the system doesn..t overflow or explode.
Whichever the answer, my brain seems endless in it..s liquidity and perhaps that is the only truth of the space time continuum and therefore our lives and the existence of our souls: it is endless.
hopeful 
nauseated 
