Current mood: 
pensive
pensive Once upon a time there was a boy named James. His daddy was very afraid of raising him and didn't think he could do it properly, so to hide his fear he tried to control James by telling him he was stupid and not a good little boy and by punching him. James' mother wanted to be a good mommy, but she didn't really know how either, so whenever something went wrong or she didn't know how to handle a situation she yelled at little James and threw things at him to hide her frustration. James wanted to be what his parents expected, so he acted like a bad little boy, even though his heart wasn't in it. Then he grew up and decided he'd rather be a good person, so he tried to be that for his friends, but he only knew how to love people who rejected him. He fell in love with a girl who made him feel inadequate, just like his daddy made him feel, but that's what he was used to so that's what he needed. Whenever a different girl started to like him or thought he was a good person at heart he became afraid and pushed her away. Whenever one of his guy friends called him to talk he pretended not to be at home or that he was too busy. He didn't know how to act around people who truly loved him, and he was convinced he could never live up to anyone's expectations, so he preferred to love from afar and never get too close so that he wouldn't have to be afraid. He already knew how to be lonely, so it was ok.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Hanna. She was a very good girl who always did what her parents expected of her. She was very responsible and took care of her baby sisters while her parents worked hard all day, every day. Hanna got really good grades at school and her parents loved her because she was smart like them. Hanna's parents taught her that honesty and responsibility and being considerate of others was really important. One day, when Hanna was just graduating from high school, she found out that her parents were inconsiderate and irresponsible, and that they were liars too. She didn't understand how people could pretend to be something they weren't and became very afraid of people in general. She thought that maybe it was her fault her parent's changed because she wasn't as good as they needed her to be, so she punished herself by hurting her body. She didn't eat and sometimes she even tried to punish herself for existing by dying. Her heart wasn't in it though, and she survived, but the hurt inside her was so strong that she had to keep hurting her body or it would tear her apart. She remained afraid of people, and believed she was unlovable, so whenever someone liked her she thought there was something wrong with them and pushed them away. She only made friends with people who needed her more than she needed them so she wouldn't have to be so afraid. She already knew how to be lonely from growing up while her parents were working all the time, so it was ok.
Once upon a time there was a boy named Johnny. He had brothers and sisters that he loved and he grew up wild and free. While being wild and free he discovered that there are a lot of bad people in the world, people who take advantage of you and people who are mean to others for no reason. It broke his heart. He was a sensitive soul and such a good person that he couldn't stand to see all the pain and suffering around him. He started to take drugs to forget how horrible the world he loved could be. He got into a lot of trouble because he was so frustrated and angry and felt so helpless, and the only person who believed he was still good at heart was his younger brother Rick. Rick bailed Johnny out of some pretty bad situations because he loved him and they trusted each other. Johnny saw how much he was hurting Rick by being bad and he felt like he was a burden to his family and the world in general because he didn't know how to be good anymore, only bad. So Johnny decided it would be better for everyone if he stopped existing, and he secretly also hoped that would make his heart stop hurting, so Johnny took his own life. He was used to being an oddball though, and he had to do what was best for everyone, that was his way, so it was ok. He was a good big brother.
Once upon a time there was a boy named Tom. His daddy was a very horrible man who sexually abused him as a baby. Tom was very afraid of men after that, so he couldn't make any proper friends. He only learned how to take advantage of people, so he took advantage of women for a long time because that's what he thought people did. He pretended to love them so they would let him sleep with them and then he left them crying. He always made sure to be with women who needed him somehow, so that he could hurt them but they couldn't hurt him. His heart wasn't in it though, so one day he decided to stop taking advantage of people. He was still really afraid, though, and he couldn't be with people too much. He had lots of nightmares and became very sick because his heart hurt so much his body hurt too. He took lots of medicine but that didn't help, so he tried drinking alcohol, and that helped a little. Sometimes it didn't help enough though, so he tried to stop existing. He almost died 3 times but somehow it wasn't his time, and he was saved. Over 50 years passed since the time his father hurt him but the nightmares didn't ever stop and Tom couldn't be happy with people, he was too afraid. He was used to being lonely though, so it was ok.
Once upon a time there was a young woman named Yvonne. She was really really skinny because she didn't eat. People thought she looked like a ghost. She got osteoporosis because she didn't get proper nutrients to keep herself healthy. She didn't really know why she didn't feel like eating, she just couldn't. She only knew that whenever she had a boyfriend and they got close enough to be serious she felt panicked and scared to death, so she ran away from them. She suspected that her father had done something bad to her when she was little, but she didn't really want to remember what it was. She wanted someone to care about her though, so she would go to the doctor's a lot, even the emergency room, and say she had a tummy ache or something like that. She loved it when people were concerned about her and asked her if she was ok. The person she most wanted to ask her if she was ok was her mother, so she would call her mother a lot to discuss the weather, but her mother never really asked how Yvonne was doing so Yvonne was sad, and when she was sad she didn't really feel like eating anything. So even though Yvonne knew not eating was bad for her, and even though she went to the doctor's a lot, no one really took care of her. And the less people took care of her the more she tried to be sick. She was used to being sick inside, though, so it was ok.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Hanna. She was a very good girl who always did what her parents expected of her. She was very responsible and took care of her baby sisters while her parents worked hard all day, every day. Hanna got really good grades at school and her parents loved her because she was smart like them. Hanna's parents taught her that honesty and responsibility and being considerate of others was really important. One day, when Hanna was just graduating from high school, she found out that her parents were inconsiderate and irresponsible, and that they were liars too. She didn't understand how people could pretend to be something they weren't and became very afraid of people in general. She thought that maybe it was her fault her parent's changed because she wasn't as good as they needed her to be, so she punished herself by hurting her body. She didn't eat and sometimes she even tried to punish herself for existing by dying. Her heart wasn't in it though, and she survived, but the hurt inside her was so strong that she had to keep hurting her body or it would tear her apart. She remained afraid of people, and believed she was unlovable, so whenever someone liked her she thought there was something wrong with them and pushed them away. She only made friends with people who needed her more than she needed them so she wouldn't have to be so afraid. She already knew how to be lonely from growing up while her parents were working all the time, so it was ok.
Once upon a time there was a boy named Johnny. He had brothers and sisters that he loved and he grew up wild and free. While being wild and free he discovered that there are a lot of bad people in the world, people who take advantage of you and people who are mean to others for no reason. It broke his heart. He was a sensitive soul and such a good person that he couldn't stand to see all the pain and suffering around him. He started to take drugs to forget how horrible the world he loved could be. He got into a lot of trouble because he was so frustrated and angry and felt so helpless, and the only person who believed he was still good at heart was his younger brother Rick. Rick bailed Johnny out of some pretty bad situations because he loved him and they trusted each other. Johnny saw how much he was hurting Rick by being bad and he felt like he was a burden to his family and the world in general because he didn't know how to be good anymore, only bad. So Johnny decided it would be better for everyone if he stopped existing, and he secretly also hoped that would make his heart stop hurting, so Johnny took his own life. He was used to being an oddball though, and he had to do what was best for everyone, that was his way, so it was ok. He was a good big brother.
Once upon a time there was a boy named Tom. His daddy was a very horrible man who sexually abused him as a baby. Tom was very afraid of men after that, so he couldn't make any proper friends. He only learned how to take advantage of people, so he took advantage of women for a long time because that's what he thought people did. He pretended to love them so they would let him sleep with them and then he left them crying. He always made sure to be with women who needed him somehow, so that he could hurt them but they couldn't hurt him. His heart wasn't in it though, so one day he decided to stop taking advantage of people. He was still really afraid, though, and he couldn't be with people too much. He had lots of nightmares and became very sick because his heart hurt so much his body hurt too. He took lots of medicine but that didn't help, so he tried drinking alcohol, and that helped a little. Sometimes it didn't help enough though, so he tried to stop existing. He almost died 3 times but somehow it wasn't his time, and he was saved. Over 50 years passed since the time his father hurt him but the nightmares didn't ever stop and Tom couldn't be happy with people, he was too afraid. He was used to being lonely though, so it was ok.
Once upon a time there was a young woman named Yvonne. She was really really skinny because she didn't eat. People thought she looked like a ghost. She got osteoporosis because she didn't get proper nutrients to keep herself healthy. She didn't really know why she didn't feel like eating, she just couldn't. She only knew that whenever she had a boyfriend and they got close enough to be serious she felt panicked and scared to death, so she ran away from them. She suspected that her father had done something bad to her when she was little, but she didn't really want to remember what it was. She wanted someone to care about her though, so she would go to the doctor's a lot, even the emergency room, and say she had a tummy ache or something like that. She loved it when people were concerned about her and asked her if she was ok. The person she most wanted to ask her if she was ok was her mother, so she would call her mother a lot to discuss the weather, but her mother never really asked how Yvonne was doing so Yvonne was sad, and when she was sad she didn't really feel like eating anything. So even though Yvonne knew not eating was bad for her, and even though she went to the doctor's a lot, no one really took care of her. And the less people took care of her the more she tried to be sick. She was used to being sick inside, though, so it was ok.
satisfied 
