WTF?

Current mood: confused

What is it about us humans that makes it so difficult to give reassurance to an insecure loved one? We're not that way with our best friends, we have patience and provide support freely and generously (hopefully anyways, otherwise there's something seriously wrong with the friendship ... love you Cookie!!). But when it comes to family or partners we get defensive whenever they are needy. Why is that?

Shouldn't the obvious insecurity and fear of a loved one in need make us feel protective and concerned instead of attacked? Doesn't it mean they are hurting, even if it's irrational? I know that when I get needy all I want is a hug and a reassuring sentence or two telling me I'm being silly and of course they love me and think I'm valuable. Duh.

It should be so simple... so why can't we repeat our feelings for someone over and over again as needed? We'd like the same from them, wouldn't we? Everyone feels misunderstood and alone in this big scary world sometimes so what's the big f***ing deal - a loved one in need isn't trying to claim we're not doing enough for them, they're just having a bad lonely day, it happens.

So yeah.. I don't understand... a person who's crying makes me feel immense empathy and want to fix things for them. Meanwhile many of us are turned off by someone we should know inside and out when they're crying. Is it because it makes us feel incompetent or inadequate? Is it fear of responsibility? Fugged if I know, but it seems like an unadult way to face neurotic behavior; if your counterpart is being irrational the least you can do for them is step up to the plate and tell them honestly what you think and feel at that moment. Grow a f***ing backbone, you love them after all... or is is just a meaningless four-letter word at the end of the day?

Why must we all victimize ourselves before considering others? The needy loved one is doing that as much as the defensive responder... it makes no f***ing sense for either of them, so why? Survival of the species would imply that we do things that aren't self-destructive and hurtful to the ones we depend on and are in some form of family relationship with. How the hell else can we protect each other?

Anyways... if we could all just get over ourselves and be f***ing NICE to each other the world would be a happier place. What's wrong with that??

:·(