Here we go, around again...

So here we are... there's no tomorrow... the good times seem so far and few... and all I deserve is nothing but the blame... la di da da da.

Don't you hate it when people post song lyrics? Those stupid tunes and this stupid situation I'm in remind me of that Hanson brother's line: 'here we go, around again'. And as much as I appreciate the significance of circles, this is just stupid. We all land here at some point, don't we (Hence, the circle. Duh)? In a deja vu snapshot of our lives thinking 'I know I've been here before or done this just yesterday, I know I have!!'

Arguments are like that, and fugging feelings as well. I don't think I like feelings anymore. Which is actually an understatement in the sense that I haven't felt like liking my feelings in a long long long long long long LONG time. On the other hand, I don't feel much like fighting them either. Which in turn is another circle. Here I am feeling feelings about my feelings. Is anyone else confused yet?

I had my first yoga class ever yesterday, and the very nice and serene lady who ran it said at one point that we should let our.... hmmm and now for the life of me, as usual what with the meds, I can't remember what words she used except that it ended with "as they will". Her point was that the thoughts popping into our heads are uncontrollable anyways. Actually no, she meant the action of thoughts popping is uncontrollable, not the thoughts themselves. How many times have I used actually now? And which? I'm sensing another deja vu coming on, sigh. So anyways, since you can't do anything about your thoughts seeping in, don't sweat it. For some reason that was the first time I got what people mean when they tell you to let go of your thoughts or feelings or head or whatever and just be.

Meanwhile, I can't write like this, sitting in the front room that all the traffic (meaning a couple dogs and my baby and his daddy) is passing through, there's windows, and road  work, and I'm slouching. This lack of focus is probably just the meds messing with my poor little obliviated brain again, my concentration has been horrific for the past 24 hours and I really don't know what the farking hell I'm trying to say here anymore.

It was going to be about being here over and over again and how unbearable repetition can be and how it's almost rhythmic by now. The fights, the raised eyebrows, the annoyance in our tones, you name it. You know what I'm talking about and I'm sorry for that. Anyways, this is impossible, gonna go now and leave it for another time ... LOL, get it??? I've even blogged about this before... so here we are again... full circle.

p.s. don't ever image google worthless, you'll  regret it.
p.p.s. hurricanes go round and round too, wonder what that means??